Breakups are a nerve-racking experience. They happen every day and have, to some extent, become a trend with many relationships. You often hear someone saying that they are no longer on good terms with their partner. They breakup for a while and are back together after some time. In a few weeks they break up again and in no time they are seen together. If you are in a relationship like this one, it is time you explored these six top tips for how to get over a breakup once and for all.
#1 – Refrain from Communicating With Your Ex
This is not going to be very easy for you especially if you have been with your ex for a long time. Texting each other every day religiously becomes the norm and happens automatically without even giving it much thought. Sleep is what separates you for the longest time apart from attending to other essential activities. When you eventually breakup, you should refrain from texting, calling, sending emails or instant messages. Cut off communication completely unless it is absolutely necessary, which would be the case if you were living together and have to move out or if you have to sign any papers.
#2 – Talk to Your Family & Good Friends
Immediately after a breakup, talk to your family and good friends about it and you will be amazed at how supportive and compassionate they will be. They know you as a caring and loving person. They will treat you well and help you go through your heartache. It is important also to know who your good friends are because you do not want to share this kind of experience with anybody and everybody. What you need is genuine sympathy since this is what will aid your healing process.
#3 – Take Care of Yourself
After a bad breakup, you can easily forget to take care of yourself. You are busy forwarding, rewinding and pausing your brain like a mechanical device. You do not even realize that you are neglecting yourself. A good night’s sleep now becomes a thing of the past. Skipping meals and not taking a shower become the order of the day. You should strive to continue with you daily activities uninterrupted. Do not miss breakfast and ensure that you eat three balanced meals a day consisting of lean meat, fish, chicken, nuts, fruits and vegetables. Drink plenty of water to prevent dehydration. Also sleep for a minimum of seven hours every night. You will need a healthy and motivated mind to give you the strength to overcome this calamity.
#4 – Stick to Your Decision
Once you have made a decision to breakup with your partner, do not start imagining that it could have worked out. Instead, work on making some changes in your life. For example, you could get rid of things that trigger your memory. These may include old furniture, clothes, shoes, jewellery, pictures or even cutlery and crockery. Remembering the reason why you broke up and how nasty your partner was will also help you focus on moving on. Making up with an ex who hasn’t even accepted his/her mistake can be a traumatizing experience.
#5 – Keep Exercising
Incorporate physical activity into your lifestyle because it is always therapeutic. It will improve your mood and ease depression. It is therefore good for your well being. Always request a friend or family member to join you during your exercise sessions or alternatively, you could join them whenever they engage in outdoor activities. Taking a walk, jogging, swimming or obtaining membership at a local gym are all options to choose from. When was the last time you went hiking, bowling, skiing or played golf? Indoor games such as cards and board games are also a fun way to spend your free time. This is the kind of distraction you need to free your mind and help you forget the sad events that led to your breakup.
#6 – It is OK to Grieve
A breakup generally hurts as much as the death of a loved one. You all know how it feels like to lose something or someone precious. It is a painful experience that can cause severe depression if not handled properly. Some people even think of committing suicide especially if it is their first time to experience a breakup. It is human nature to feel resentful. It is okay for you to grieve. It is also important that you understand the grieving process and try to lead a normal life when you are going through it. Do not get involved in destructive behavior just to get back at you ex. This will hurt and embarrass you more.
To sum up, the grieving process generally has 5 stages which include:
This is the phase where you do not believe that the relationship is over. You think with your heart and often tend to be irrational. You secretly hope that things could work out and even get tempted to call your ex.
This is the stage where you are angry with everyone and everything including yourself. You feel like the world is against you and even go to the extent of bad mouthing your ex and sending hateful messages.
In this stage, you tend to imagine that you can make the relationship work again. You talk to your ex and try convincing them that you will change. You even ask your friends or family to talk to him/her.
Depression manifests itself in several forms. Loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, drug abuse and feeling hopeless.
This is a phase which comes gradually until you are eventually able to accept your loss and make peace with yourself. Relapses may occur sometimes until you are eventually able to move on.